The Mother-in-law Chronicles

I wish I had a dollar for every time I have heard this phrase over the last two weeks, "Becca, I can't believe you don't already have your bag packed, when do you plan on doing that?"  For those not in the circle, Bec isn't due until the end of January, plenty of time to "pack a bag" if we so desire.

In an informal Carolyn survey of unsuspecting bystandards, she found that actually no one has had a bag packed and the survey goes on to find, no one needed one.  While disappointing to the surveyor, the harping continues none the less.

Last night we also heard a new one which needs special mention, "I hope you pull yourself together after the baby is born for decent photos, can't have bad photos you know".

Just 2 more days! Emirates, take her away!

The Mother-in-law Chronicles

Today's Chronicle is when the MIL plays mind games with the dog.  What a mind fuck it is when the MIL tries to make the dog feel bad for her not feeling his love.  Here's the situation.

The MIL wants to take the dog for a walk.  The dog is so tired of her shit he only goes with her if she lures him out with food.  Once the dog has the food he bolts it back up the stairs and refuses to go back out with the MIL.  For the remainder of the evening the MIL tries to make the dog feel guilty that her feelings are hurt.

You really think the dog gives a shit about her feelings?  He just wanted the damn treat.

She doesn't have a clue.

The Mother-in-law Chronicles

What are the boundaries one adheres to when visiting someone in their home?  Does the visitor have the right to rearrange pictures on the wall just because they think a certain one would look better over there?  Do they have the right to go through the desk of bank statements and investment documents and move all of them out, putting them in a separate box and tucked away in another room?

No, the mother-in-law doesn't have this right.  I can tell you two things, #1 three weeks with us is toooo long and #2 the next time I am in Sydney, I am moving her shit around, just to piss her off.

Five days to go.

BANGKOK POST 13 October 2011: Just a good read from Bangkok! 

This little ditty was in the BP a couple of weeks ago on how to deal with strange things you find in the flood waters.

Alert rescuers when dealing with large creatures. In the case of smaller ones like scorpions or centipedes, use a long wooden stick to steer them into a bucket and cover it with a piece of cloth or blanket and wait for the rescuers, but keep children away. If the rescuers are too busy or far away, you may have to 'beat them to death', but if it happens to be a big snake, cover it with blankets and wait for a professional hand to arrive and deal with the problem.

As a safeguard against snakes, people should hit the ground or water with a wooden stick before stepping forward. However, the noise can alert crocodiles to attack them. Therefore stay quiet if you spot one. When attacked by the beast, try to stick in a wooden wedge before it is able to lock its jaws on you. It is a very difficult thing to do, but it is better than doing nothing to save your own life.

The Flood of the Century

The title says it all except that it's not.  We watch the news, we monitor Twitter and news feeds and nothing.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not out looking for danger or wishing to get in to the heart of the action like having to evacuate my home or my family as so many have done.  But, when friends are now making a game of it - Let's Go Flood Spotting and also Hunt for the Crocodiles, then we have a problem.

The problem is not the game itself, the problem is the action just hasn't come to us yet and yet we keep hearing about it.  It's like hearing the roaring crowd of the stadium across the city and while you can't stand the game inside, you just want to know what's happening in there.