Oops I crapped my pants

I have been MIA recently due to being stuck in the Twitterverse. The unknown area that reaches potentially millions of people around the world instantly. Really a fantastic phenomenon but one that does take a bit of cyber attention and energy.

That said I had to come back to share my Friday laughter therapy. I still laugh when I read this.

Just saying hi hope you're well. Spent a loooonnnnnngggg weekend with (name withheld) here and now I'm convinced (name withheld)'s retarded. Worst guest EVER. She shit the bed among other accomplishments. Anyhow. Xoxo

My first reaction was, did (name withheld) stay in the bed I sleep in when I visit? Answer, no. Whew!

Now back to your regularly scheduled program.

Twitter me this

I am having so many conversations these days about Twitter I am about to start telling people to go tweet themselves. If they think this is the next coming of Christ then why the hell aren't they tweeting themselves? I realize it reaches people but what I have also seen recently is a guy who tweeted his entire holiday in Maui. What kind of SMF (twitter talk for sad mother f%$ker) spends his entire time in Maui tweeting and responding to the returned tweets.

Get me another Lahaina Lemonade and screw this Twitter crap.

RBSC - If only this was Universal

Played golf today at the Royal Bangkok Sports Club. An 18 hole golf club in the center of Bangkok. I never thought 18 holes could fit in to the center of a horse racing track but it does. Not only that, I still shot a 97 which is what I shoot when I play a course of 5500 yards.

The most unusual part is that on every water hole, there were plenty, there was a guy swimming in the pond just in case you dropped one in the water. I didn't lose one but I think you had to slip him a few hundred baht if he found it. But when does he come out of the water?

How much is too much?

Received an email which was copied to all in the building today, that's 600 people:

Khun XXXX in hospital for hemorrhoid surgery. Expected release is unknown.

So how much information is too much? We care about our employees and we want them to feel we do appreciate the job they do but really, how much is too much?

Do I really need to know about her hemmies?

Roon-ism

Roon-ism for the day to the airport:

Roon, I good road. (Then laughing at himself hysterically)

On the way to the airport today, Khun Roon did a D&W, Duck and Weave to avoid the traffic and end up where we needed to be, on the freeway. We ended up through the Big Echo and a bank then out to Wireless and through a double lane past the US Embassy.

Roon, you good road!!!

Save the Drama for your Mama!

You have an intern who looks like the little doll pictured here. You add in her Hi-So family and her attitude of not wanting to fit in to the corporate culture and you have the drama for the day.

When does bright red hair and contact lenses, which make your eyes bigger and blacker, fit in with a culture of conservatism?

We aren't a match, go save the drama for your mama!

Copper and Garlic

You won't know what I am referring to unless you live here but there is an overall bad breath problem in Thailand. The food is just amazing and as such everyone eats it all the time, breakfast, lunch and dinner. But with eating the basic food for all meals there is an overall bad breath problem in Thailand. Imagine sucking on a coin then a piece of garlic. That is what it smells like.

Scenario #1: The taxi driver had to get an air freshener as I think he was grossing himself out with his breath following his morning bowl of noodles.

Scenario #2: You sit in the chair getting your hair washed at the salon and even through they are using some very strong fragrance shampoo, the overwhelming power of the hair washer's breath breaks through and here comes the copper garlic smell.

I know its cultural but it's every where.

In Celebration of the 4th of July

As an American it's all about the July 4th BBQ. Ok, not really but on this one day we do indeed fire up the BBQ and grill a few steaks, burgers, breasts and perhaps a dog or two.

On this occasion here in Bangkok we don't just fire up the BBQ but we have our Housekeepers stand over the grill so we don't have get hot and smokey. That is the scene yesterday at a BBQ we were invited to attend. I expected the ex-pat men standing over the grill, beer in hand, asking everyone, "how do you like 'em?" but no, it was the housekeeper sweating and standing over the open flames, looking like "what the f#@k is this shit?".

So on this occasion of firing up the barbie, I guess the phrase is not "how do you like 'em?" but "mai pen rai!"

Roon-isms

In an adventure last night, we head to what is being sold to me as a romantic lake setting with a fantastic local Thai restaurant. It didn't start out that way. After two attempts of grabbing a taxi that we need to take us the 55 km to the restaurant, there is no one that will take us and they all tell us to get out of the car.

To the rescue...Khun Roon. My ever semi-faithful regular taxi driver who happens to be sitting in my driveway with an overheated engine. He looks at the map which is written in Thai and shouts, CAN! He slams in the last bottle of water to the engine, drops the hood down and off we go. After many stops to let the engine cool down, finally make to the restaurant on the lake.

Here come the isms.

"You call, I come, 2 hours"

"I found, Roon happy!"

"Roon good driver, practice go carts"

Just a few of them as our journey took us nearly two hours with the traffic. He waited until we were done, he fixed the car while we ate dinner then we were off again back to the city.

The Inca Trail and beyond

I am out of the clouds and off the trail, considered to be one of the toughest treks in the world, the Inca Trail. With a four day hike and walking 48 km or 30 miles at altitudes ranging from 8,000 feet to 13,900 feet or 2,500 meters to 4,200 meters, it is grueling and something that brings one to understand that the Incas were one tough group of people. They built 5,000 km of trails all from grainte blocks from the years 1200 to 1600 before the Spanish over threw their kingdom. What the spaniards didn't find was Machu Picchu as well as many other sites.

Take a look at these videos to get an understanding of the trek and the terain contained in the Peruvian Andes.