Which Fag to Fly

A funny note from today's emails. Definitely worth sharing.

We are on the process of the 5 fag poles installation ,just to let you know we have to purchase 10 national fags as per your list , have check with banquet there are no any fag that size for fag no. 7 can you let us know what fag and do they will bring here with them or we have to purchase please let us know ASAP krub

Regarding the cost of fags what account we can refer to krub.

You just have to laugh at this.

Death in Thailand

Funeral ceremonies can be from 3 days to a year long.

Death in Thailand is a unique experience for not only the person in the box I would imagine but for those left in the audience.  Here are a few things that happened this week that I find fascinating and troubling all at the same time.

Religion in many ways is better than people.  You look at some of the turmoil and strifes affecting countries and regions around the world and many times it is in the name of religion.  In general, the purpose of religion is to do good for people and give them hope or something to look forward too, be it in life or death.  People on the other hand are the cause of why religion turns evil.  The teachings say one thing and the people do another.  Take the catholic church for instance.  The bible teaches good while the priests embezzle and become pedophiles.  In the Buddhist religion, the monks live a life of simplicity but the people cheat and steal from one another to better themselves and gain control and power over each other.  In both examples, not a very good way of living if you want to get to a better place after the box.

As you can see, wreaths with the sender's name or company are placed in the temple to show the family that they care.  But what does it show to the family when a limo company who manages and owns a large fleet of Mercedes, hires a motorbike taxi to deliver the wreath?  Not only that, but then the motorbike driver pulls out additional flowers and garnish to finish the wreath while the service is taking place.  It seems everyone does a little bit of everything in Thailand.

Funerals in Thailand are no different from everyday life.  There are those with money and considered higher class and there are those that do not have the means and considered lower class.  So in a funeral temple, there has to be the VIP section for the Hi-So mourners.  This is an obvious section designated by more comfortable chairs and coffee and tea service.  So respected is this VIP section that no one can leave the temple once the service is over until the VIPs have left the room first.  All must remain seated or at least in your seating area.

Sometimes the deceased is of such great stature or perhaps the family is of that level that the temple must set up Mezzanine seating.  This is generally outdoors and across the walkway.  I didn't see any VIPs sitting in that section for sure.

The final interesting note is that in all walks of Thai life there is food; funeral services are no different.   When the monks take a break, out comes the snack boxes, usually sponsored by a company or family other than that of the deceased.  Everyone breaks them open like a picnic lunch and enjoys a little nibble while the dead just hang out up front.

Yes, in Thailand, there are many unique experiences and this week was one I will not forget.

I want to see the manager

I have known this for quite some time but it has hit me again in the face as I read the glitches that are taking place where I work.  If you complain you will get free shit.  Now I have been known to chuck a spaz now and again when things are really crappy but only and I repeat only when the establishment is marketing themselves as something they are not.  I never do it to reap a reward for the crap service I pointed out to them.  It is becoming so apparent that many people chuck a fit because they know it will score them free shit.  Here is one.

A guest calls the Front Desk about 11pm and complains he just can not get to sleep because the birds are too loud.  The Front Desk manager goes out to the tree and scares them away.  An hour later the guest calls back to the desk and complains that the birds are back and keeping him awake.  He demands an upgrade to a suite for the inconvenience.  Are you kidding me?  For the love of god and all that's holy, just deal with it, its nature.

Christmas in Sydney

Family traditions vary from country to country but one of the greatest I have found down under is the massive amounts of lobster, crab and prawns (there are no shrimp here mate).  This feasting is followed by a lovely layout and sleep at the beach to sleep off the coma.

So grab your board, don't forget your boardies and enjoy the summer in Sydney, it's Christmas Day Mate!

Actual letter that has won an award

This is an "actual letter" from an Austin, Texas woman sent to Proctor and Gamble regarding one of their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. This was PC Magazine's 2009 Editors' Choice award-winner for the best letter sent via e-mail.

Dear Mr. Thatcher, I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants...

Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'
Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong'. Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullsh!t. And that's a promise I will keep. Always. . ... Mrs. W. Aarons Austin , TX

Sunday in the slums

It's not that we live in the slums. We live in the slums adjacent. Right outside our 2nd floor deck and a matter of feet away is the slums. On Sunday the residence gamble and watch the races on a tv positioned on the sidewalk. They cheer on their favorite pony being broadcast from Malaysia or Phuket. This of course is accompanied by much drinking of Mykong whiskey and Singha beer. They get wasted!

They play cards with a lookout, usually a teenaged kid, stationed at each end of the tunnel-like soi to keep an eye out for the police. Not that they would be ticketed or arrested, no these police grab the cash sitting in the pot and run with it.

Yes, it's Sunday in the slums and the place is going crazy. Come on over!

Bangkok is more than "me ruv you rong time"

Most of the dumbass farangs (foreigners) who come to this city never know what Bangkok is truly about. They think getting drunk and having a Thai blowjob at Nana Plaza is a Bangkok experience. There is so much more to this city.

Today I was given a tour of the ruins of the old city "across the river" where life is different, where opportunities are for those that come from a background of an Indian and Chinese heritage.  Walking through blocks of land that have Chinese shrines of 80+ years, knowing that people lived off the land and river for generations makes the farang experience seem so shallow.

When the Burmese burned down the capital city of Ayutthaya in the late 1700s and the seat of power was moved to Bangkok, they first settled across the river where we were walking.  Today I saw walls of ancient palaces and government houses now lying in ruins, just waiting to be brought back to life and appreciated.  This is the city that makes Bangkok as famous for its history as for its sex industry.

Now please understand, I am not saying this is still not a fucked up country with its politics and separation of classes.  But get behind the scenes and off the streets for the real Bangkok to see what no one else sees and understands.

Let's play Guess Where the People are Flying?

Ok friends, yesterday it was time to play, Guess Where the People are Flying?  This is when you walk through DFW and you have to guess where the waiting people are heading.  You know that the blondes are all going to LA, the latin model types are all heading to Miami.  Now the toughy, when you have a crowd of overweight pasty white people sitting there it could be many places.  Could be Detroit or Minneapolis or even St. Louis.  The point is, it's getting harder to tell these days since America is getting fatter by the day. 

Need some humor?

Now that the protests are over and the city is back to as close to normal as it can be.  I thought it time for some humor.  NPR is something I miss from the US but here it is on SNL.

A Country Destroyed

Update since last night:  The 17 story Zen Department Store which includes a roof top restaurant and True Fitness has been burned and is now collapsing.  Central World Shopping area, 500 stores through 8 floors is now burned and destroyed.  The Channel 3 Television station is now burned and had staff on the roof trapped until a helicopter rescued them.  There were 32 fires around the city last night, mainly banks.  The Army is finding grenades and bombs still set on the roads and periodically we hear the explosion.  Reds are reported to be surfacing tonight and moving in small groups so we are staying in.

This is an updated look back at the last 4 days.