Tucker Max

I am sure that all people living in North America have heard of him and of his movie/book.  Really he is a self admitting asshole, drunk, social moron, but his stories just make you laugh.  Not so much that you want to actually live them or find yourself jealous in any way of him.  Just funny that some schmuck could put himself in such situations and wrote about them.

A good friend who recommends books to me, typically on the edge type of books, sent me this one.  Now she is a live wire of a Japanese woman living in Singapore and now I know she has a dark side.  Always suspected it!

I have listed Tucker Max's web blog on my list of recommends just because I want people to laugh and put it all in perspective.  Apparently he never updates so it won't be there forever.

Go ahead, laugh your fucking ass off.  One of my favorites is the blow job stories.

(If you are offended by this last statement, don't go over to the web site.)

What's he do for crust, mate?

Now what the hell does that mean?  I actually heard "crux", even more confusing but he did say crust.  "Crust" means bread which means money.  So "What's he do for crust, mate?"  Translates to - What does he do for a living.

I would suggest everyone get a MacQuaries Dictionary for the Aussie slang before you visit.

I finally spoke to a porn star!

Last year you may remember that I posted about Baroness Von Pornstar who attended the annual Tree Lighting Ceremony with HRH in attendance.  I deleted the post as I was new to the blog world and immediately received a note from a reader that he knows her and he was asking who I was to write about her.  I didn't really want to cause that much of a stir so I deleted the post.

This year I have figured out how to block that person from following me (I think) and once again have the opportunity to post something.  The reason I can write again is that I met her last night in the flesh.  If you recall, the rumor is that she purchased her Baroness title in Germany which makes her a bit of a fraud but indeed is a former soft porn actress from the 60's.  If she is indeed a Baroness, I am sure she did her family proud by then becoming a Pornstar.  Either way, she's a character.

While I was keeping an eye on her from the start because she was crashing a party for which she was not invited, she really wasn't doing anything wrong but eating and drinking a bit.  Until that fateful moment.  She claims that she knows the King of Thailand and carries a photo-shopped picture to prove it, she said she knows the Pope (I didn't ask which one, remember she's old), she said she knows the Queen of England too.  But her fateful moment was when she jumped in front of the Princess as she entered the building and apparently this Princess doesn't know the Baroness.

We were immediately notified to control this "guest", who claims she has been attending this event for 20 years, and if we did not, the Palace Police would physically remove the 80 year old Pornstar.  I had the fun of finally approaching her and confronting her on the attack, asking why she crashes the party each year (same answer, knowing the Pope), and telling her that she was not welcome back unless she was an invited guest.  She stayed clear of the Princess the rest of the night and I think she got the message.

Needless to say, another holiday party has come and gone and we all look forward to next year to see if the Baroness Von Pornstar ends her 20 year reign.

The Christmas Stories continue - The Santaland Diaries by David Sedaris

The best time you will spend this holiday season. So grab an eggnog, sit back and enjoy David's reading.

Part 1



Part 2



Part 3



Part 4

It's that time of year - my favorite Christmas Stories

Seasons Greetings to our Friends and Family!

Part 1



Part 2

Is Oxygen Dangerous?

I was sitting at a table of all Thai colleagues and discussing walking through the park next to my house.  I was told and it was unanimously supported by the table that walking in the midst of all the carbon dioxide that the trees put out is dangerous and I should not do it so much.

I took a second and put on my "are you smarter than a 5th grader" hat and said trees emit oxygen not CO2.  Further more, it isn't ever dangerous to be near a tree for the O2 it is putting out, lightening yes, O2, NO.  This caused a table discussion where everyone, not joking and dead serious, said that is what they all learned in school.

What is the country teaching its youth?

Grandma says the darndest things

This came to me via the Mandarin language speakers on an airline we all know and love.

OK, I'm Back.

Now don't think that things have gone down the toilet since I posted last but that last post really reminded me of a couple of funnies that just make me laugh.

When you have a bit of gas and just don't know what to do. Better out than in, I say.

And of course this one. Always a favorite.

Oops I crapped my pants

I have been MIA recently due to being stuck in the Twitterverse. The unknown area that reaches potentially millions of people around the world instantly. Really a fantastic phenomenon but one that does take a bit of cyber attention and energy.

That said I had to come back to share my Friday laughter therapy. I still laugh when I read this.

Just saying hi hope you're well. Spent a loooonnnnnngggg weekend with (name withheld) here and now I'm convinced (name withheld)'s retarded. Worst guest EVER. She shit the bed among other accomplishments. Anyhow. Xoxo

My first reaction was, did (name withheld) stay in the bed I sleep in when I visit? Answer, no. Whew!

Now back to your regularly scheduled program.

Twitter me this

I am having so many conversations these days about Twitter I am about to start telling people to go tweet themselves. If they think this is the next coming of Christ then why the hell aren't they tweeting themselves? I realize it reaches people but what I have also seen recently is a guy who tweeted his entire holiday in Maui. What kind of SMF (twitter talk for sad mother f%$ker) spends his entire time in Maui tweeting and responding to the returned tweets.

Get me another Lahaina Lemonade and screw this Twitter crap.