Sunday, December 20, 2009

What's he do for crust, mate?

Now what the hell does that mean?  I actually heard "crux", even more confusing but he did say crust.  "Crust" means bread which means money.  So "What's he do for crust, mate?"  Translates to - What does he do for a living.

I would suggest everyone get a MacQuaries Dictionary for the Aussie slang before you visit.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

I finally spoke to a porn star!

Last year you may remember that I posted about Baroness Von Pornstar who attended the annual Tree Lighting Ceremony with HRH in attendance.  I deleted the post as I was new to the blog world and immediately received a note from a reader that he knows her and he was asking who I was to write about her.  I didn't really want to cause that much of a stir so I deleted the post.

This year I have figured out how to block that person from following me (I think) and once again have the opportunity to post something.  The reason I can write again is that I met her last night in the flesh.  If you recall, the rumor is that she purchased her Baroness title in Germany which makes her a bit of a fraud but indeed is a former soft porn actress from the 60's.  If she is indeed a Baroness, I am sure she did her family proud by then becoming a Pornstar.  Either way, she's a character.

While I was keeping an eye on her from the start because she was crashing a party for which she was not invited, she really wasn't doing anything wrong but eating and drinking a bit.  Until that fateful moment.  She claims that she knows the King of Thailand and carries a photo-shopped picture to prove it, she said she knows the Pope (I didn't ask which one, remember she's old), she said she knows the Queen of England too.  But her fateful moment was when she jumped in front of the Princess as she entered the building and apparently this Princess doesn't know the Baroness.

We were immediately notified to control this "guest", who claims she has been attending this event for 20 years, and if we did not, the Palace Police would physically remove the 80 year old Pornstar.  I had the fun of finally approaching her and confronting her on the attack, asking why she crashes the party each year (same answer, knowing the Pope), and telling her that she was not welcome back unless she was an invited guest.  She stayed clear of the Princess the rest of the night and I think she got the message.

Needless to say, another holiday party has come and gone and we all look forward to next year to see if the Baroness Von Pornstar ends her 20 year reign.

The Christmas Stories continue - The Santaland Diaries by David Sedaris

The best time you will spend this holiday season. So grab an eggnog, sit back and enjoy David's reading.

Part 1



Part 2



Part 3



Part 4

It's that time of year - my favorite Christmas Stories

Seasons Greetings to our Friends and Family!

Part 1



Part 2